LORD MART EXCLUSIVE! “What Would Jesus Buy?” Wallet
Have you ever asked yourself, “Does purchasing a WWJD bracelet count as a tithe?” or, “Does giving a dollar I found on the ground count as a sacrificial offering?” Now you can “count the cost” with this spiffy little item!
Crucifix Phone Cover
Is your mobile phone a testimony to the wondrousness of His grace? Well it should be! Let the world see Jesus in all his flashing, multicolored glory.
Holy Spirit Whistle
Do you earnestly desire the best spiritual gifts? Get that ole’ Holy Spirit’s attention with this handy whistle! It’s uniquely tuned to the pitches which cannot be uttered.
TBN Key ring
Great for the keys to that new Hummer the Lord has promised all who will just claim it in faith!
TBN Floating Pen
Get the power of God . . . in a pen! Magnetic force is a power that even the smartest rocket scientist cannot explain! Oh they have their “theories” and “formulas”, but not even Einstein could have told you how a simple magnet can pick up a nail! It is simply the power of God – so don’t try to understand it! Now, the same invisible power that holds the world together upholds your unique pen on NOTHING!
Are “you and your whole household” saved? Make sure people know it!
Lion and Lamb Print
Keep up the lack of biblical accuracy with this wonderful rendition of the most famous Bible verse that does not exist: “And the lion shall lie down with the lamb” (cf. Isa. 11:6).
Lion and Lamb for Kids
It’s never too early to get your kids misinterpreting the Bible! This delightful picture even has the correct verse printed out right at the top to easily demonstrate how simple it is to ignore the text!
God Thinks You Are Special Plate
Highlight important accomplishments in your family by pulling out this unique red plate for that special person! Save it for celebrating special moments and let them know how proud you are (today at least). At only $20.00 each, your first celebration might just be on your economic stewardship!
Christian Butter Dish
You really can’t call your home “Christian” unless every object in it declares your faith. Complete your collection with this existentially relevant stoneware!
Matching napkin holders (shown above) sold separately.
Biblical Nutrition Bar
This handy bar contains the seven foods which the Lord calls ‘good’ in Deuteronomy 8:8 – wheat, barley, honey, figs, olive oil, grapes and pomegranates. You’re going to love this first-of-its-kind nutritional bar with its refreshing, natural fruit flavor and biblical significance.”
Apocalypse Hot Sauce
Is most food too “lukewarm” for your fired up tastes? Don’t spew it out – get the holy hot sauce that’s sweeping the nation!
Last Supper Musical Pillow
Nothing like an after-(last?)-supper nap! Measuring a generous 15 x 11 inches and including a wind-up music mechanism, this pillow will sooth you to sleep with a mellow rendition of Hey Jude.
Job 1:10 Tape Measure
When that household project is looming, just grab your trusty LifeLines tape measure! A reminder of Satan’s accusations against God will surely spur you on to good works!
Mother Theresa Breath Mist
One spritz can purge the demons of bad breath. Be merciful to thy friends and neighbors.
The mints with a message!
John Calvin Cologne
Ready to step out for the evening Bible study, but don’t want to smell sexy in a secular way? Toss out that nasty Calvin Klein and spritz up the reformed way!
Jesus Air Fresheners.
Perfect to go along with the “Jesus Ashtray”! (coming soon). Express your feelings with this beautiful yet meaningful three pack, or…
Let people know that just because you’re a Christian that doesn’t mean you can’t ROCK! “Bareth a small portion of thou air freshener each week to keepeth thou car rocking.”
“Ref-T’s” are both comfortable and doctrinally correct. Are you really free to say no???
The Bible Belt
Wear your fundamentalism with pride!
If the bracelet, necklace, Bible cover, T-Shirt, and key ring just aren’t enough, these stylish undergarments boast a special “false fly.” So if the waistband isn’t reminder enough, access is denied in any case!
Jesus Loves You Sandals
Blessed are the feet of him who brings good news . . . to the beach! Let your soles magnify the Lord with these stylish flip-flops.
Even if you don’t “Speak in tongues,” Jesus can still be on your tongues at all times!
Tired of seeing your kids running around in those worldly Chuck Taylor basketball shoes? Why not be a witness on and off the court? Honor the english hymn-writer and founder of Methodism with the all new Christian court shoes!
Wash Away Your Sin Soap
Can’t get that tough sin out? This will cleanse even the most guilt-ridden soul.
Wash Away Your Sins Bubble Bath
Still feel sinful after a hard day of struggling against the flesh? This bath will make your soul feel like brand new! Plus it leaves no visible scum ring!
Re-tell your own Bible-based stories with these plastic characters, or join them with other sets for a space, western, or jungle theme! (Great for cross-cultural studies.)
COPPER MAGNETIC THERAPY JESUS BRACELET
Do you believe? Wear this solid COPPER MAGNETIC THERAPY JESUS BRACELET for the most powerful healing and comfort you’ve ever experienced! COPPER has been relied on for centuries to ease the pain of arthritis. MAGNETS are used therapeutically to ease muscle pain, tendonitis, bursitis, back pain, poor circulation and more. And faith in the miracles of JESUS can not only protect you from physical pain, but soothe your soul in times of stress! Fully adjustable to fit most wrists.
How to Speak Christianeze
Do you ever “struggle” “in your heart” over what “the Spirit is telling (your heart)”? Maybe you just don’t know what the words mean! This tape series will “speak to your heart.” And (just praise Him) if you just order now you can also just get the tape series Denominational Differences. Can it get an “Amen???”